Haunted
by redvelvetjade
Summary: I miss you, You hurt me, You left with a smile Mistaken, your sadness was hiding inside They Called it Bullycide But I know Her she wouldn't hurt herself..Someone Tried to kill her but who?
1. Chapter 1 Intro

**Haunted**

Louder ,Louder the whispers of her voice taunt me . How can I shut her out without shutting her up forever? All the questions keep racing through my mind , Where did she go? Why? It's a imagine I can't forget the one that burns in my mind , it invokes angry nauseated feelings. A crime so horrendous that people wouldn't talk about it even the police couldn't stomach the details. A crime against someone I loved..love..the media got everything so twisted up in lies and inaccurate facts , everyday more and more headlines came until one day the truth was buried so far from reality it was forgotten , All I want is answers the police gave up friends turned away or forgot

the only one who knows for sure is frozen..she wants to tell me but she's trapped..I can't forget her but if I can't stop her voice I swear I am going to lose my mind. Everywhere I go she's there I feel her I see her I hear her I'm Haunted and to rest I just need..

A

N

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W

E

R

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	2. Chapter 2 I Miss You

**I Miss You**

{A/N This chapter is formated so you can make your own conclusion as to who is telling it but I will make it clear in the chapters that follow who's telling and who's talking just for those of you who like to sound off on that if u want to review that would be lovely but if u want to hate or criticizes frankly don't bother cause you only piss me off and cause me to delete you fast. Usual disclaimer I won nothing..]

_[ Tv Announcer voice]_

_Christmas time is almost here and for many this is a season_

_Of Joy and Laugher wonder and excitement_

_For Some however it's a season of painful reminders_

_Shattered Dreams_

_For Some it's just another reminder to worry about the children_

_Out there who have not found their way home_

_Soon It'll be the Six months anniversary Of one of the most _

_Shocking _ _Bullycide __Attempts in Hollywood _

_Another Senseless Deaths of one of todays brightest most talented_

_Young Teen Idols !_

_Beautiful and brilliant charismatic a musical prodigy is how many described her .._

~ _AH~ _I threw my notebook against the wall screaming as tears of frustration built up the TV was blaring useless old facts voices that kept interrupting my thoughts , scattered on my floor were my piles of evidence ,interviews, quotes , numbers ,bank statements . I was searching for clues the police reports were a jumble of written words ..the pictures of us lay scattered all over the floor..from the tours the video's from hanging with friends ...to just us..tears poured down faster as I saw her smiling face they were burning holes in my head making me hurt . I curled up my knees up to my chest my chin resting on them...I couldn't believe it even after all this time .. The Questions still burned in my mind ..She was really gone I mean I knew she was it had only been 15,638,400 seconds 260,640 minutes 4344 hours 181 days 25 weeks (rounded down) 6 months . For me time had stopped but for the rest of the world it went on. I feel like I'm stuck in that moment when my whole world changed , Getting up I went over and looked out the window it was raining as it had been for the last week..sunny California was not so sunny this week..which fit me fine..I knew she would of hated it though. She loved to be outside tanning, swimming, walking her dogs but when we would get trapped inside we would make up games to play dang we had so much fun.. we had such wild imaginations , the times I loved best were when we would curl up under the covers and make popcorn which she always burned so I had to remake..rent movies and tell the stupidest jokes which always made us laugh. I could see us now hear our laughter feel her skin against mine ..see her eyes shine and see her amazing smile..Even if only for a moment. I missed her so much with such furiousness it left me shivering cold.

_Damn!_

I screamed at no one but Mate my German Shepard jumped back barking and whimpering , holding out my hand so he could see I wasn't being mean or going to hurt him .I let it linger so he could take his time sniffing his eyes scanned me as if he wasn't sure what the heck was going on Sophie ran and hide behind my bed not wanting to even bother with any of this madness. Sighing I got up and sat on the window sill over looking the back yard. The pool glistened I thought about her as I watched the stars as they twinkled.

Leaning my head back I sighed lost in thoughts I kept remembering the last few days we had together how sad She had been how she had been crying for help but no one had seen it in time..Well one person had and they took full advantage of her pain and frustrations. They took her heart which she always wore on her sleeve and broke it destroyed it and cut it out. If only I had seen it earlier maybe she wouldn't of been alone that night. Maybe I could of stopped those events from unfolding .. _"Woof Woof" _Mate had tried to climb up but hadn't gotten enough hold on the hard wood and slipped with a giant yelp he fell straight onto my police file which was a thick as a stack of medical books.

_Mate No! [me]_

I cried out as I leaped to grab the file but I must of scared him cause he kicked out and took off.

Whining and whimpering he flew out of the room as I tried to grab the papers which were scattered and out of order now. They all seemed to resemble each other now names dates times details all blurred together. One paper caught my eyes though...I hadn't seen it before I scooped it up it was a blank statement. Quickly turning on a light. I gripped it and scanned over it my eyes hungrily taken it all in why hadn't I seen it before how had this slipped my mind? Numbers and names poured into my cornea's one purchase stuck out .

DK Swimming supplies $300

What the heck? Selena couldn't Even swim last year she was terrified of the dang water

[A/n don't know if she is or isn't or if she can swim just wanted to do this for the story]

She would never let her Credit Card out to anyone. She had to have brought this stuff but why? What would she use it for? She couldn't Swim, So how could she?

I Ran to my computer and typed in DK Swimming and Sports store's there were 5 in the local area. I printed out all the info for all 5 looking over the statement again I saw something else ..

Tobacco Haven $ 600

What the heck was going on? Selena would never smoke especially at that date she had to have known by that point..She was expecting things just weren't adding up and my frustrations were eating me up god why couldn't I sort it out?

_God What The Heck! [me]_

I hit my desk tears welled up why couldn't I remember that night? What was blocking me? My eyes scanned my room perfect in most people's eyes the prime example of every perfect little girls dream hard wood floors all polished and shiny like new pink walls white trim not a speck of dust or dirt everything shined. Pictures lined the walls of my friends and I from every corner of the world. My family lined the other wall.. on my desk sat my school books that I hadn't touched in months. My bed only a few short feet away sat neatly made the satin red covers gleamed the black silk sheets were tucked and trimmed. The pics caught me again god we were so beautiful we were so happy arms wrapped around each other's shoulders. Stunna as she would of said I laughed softly as I heard her voice. Selena had her arm wrapped around my shoulder on the far end was Demi looking at her their eyes seemed to hold a secret that only they shared. I missed how close we all were back then god if only I could remember. My head hurt as I tried to take all this in putting my head back I closed my eyes I could feel myself breaking down getting chocked up in my memories. They were killing me whipping away my tears. I quickly got up leaving my room hurrying down the hall which was quite .I fingered the pictures that lined the room of all of us kids stopping just outside her room my breath sucked itself in and pain seized me I hadn't been inside since that night could I go in now? Tears fell silently fast and hard . Should I go in? I turned away but there were tears . I turned away but something drew me inside so without stopping I entered almost getting knocked down the air wasn't stale like you thought it would be it smelled strongly of vanilla and cinnamon her bed was made neatly and stuffed animals laid on top her Elvis Blanket was folded at the bottom Rodeo followed

me he seemed to sense my apprehension. Sophie jumped on her bed and laid her head down whimpering I sat by her and scratched her head.

" _Poor baby you probably_

_Don't get enough attention now"_

She seemed to take it in rolling on her back as she whimpered and hit my hand with her nose making me giggle.

I looked around and felt an incredible rage everything was so darn neat she was So Not neat in anyway! Why couldn't people just leave her stuff alone? Suddenly I was like a wild animal as I tore through her room ripping clothes out of her closet and drawers throwing papers everywhere Sophie barked and dove under the bed. I kept going as I knocked over a chest crashing into it which caused me to scream, pain shot through my foot blood trickled down . I stopped curling up on the floor bawling like a child. Time passed I have no idea how long I stayed like that but I laid curled up clutching myself .Sophie jumped down and came up to me kissing me. She looked at me wow I must have been a sight mascara running and nose dripping as I rocked back and forth resting my face on my knees my face felt flushed but I was cold very cold shivering the pitter patter of little feet caught my attention as Mate came over and dropped the Elvis blanket in front of me. I smiled and held it to me wrapping it around me. My leg was throbbing my head hurt slowly I got up and went over to the Cd Player then went to lay on the bed holding the blanket. I remembered all the times we had curled up here and laughed at jokes and watched TV and movies the times we had talked and shared dreams cried over heart breaks we would make plans dang we had so many plans for the future and what we wanted to happen. Sophie and Mate curled up beside me as I held her blanket which still smelled like her as I played the Cd which must have been the last one she had played knowing this is what she heard last made me cry as I curled up on the bed listening.

**IF Only**

_Scarlet red  
Drips from my veins  
What's wrong with me  
That I imagine such things  
And if only for a moment  
Let there be peace  
And how can I  
Live with this pain  
I don't have the strength  
To conquer this shame  
And if only for a moment  
Let there be peace_

And tell me did you know  
That I still won't let it go  
And just maybe you're still flying free  
If only

Tell me why  
I'm left here alone  
I search for your voice  
But I should of known  
That if only for a moment  
You'd be with me

And tell me did you know  
That I still won't let it go  
And just maybe you're still flying free

If only I could change the way  
You were torn away from me  
I would never let you go  
I'd burn away the plans we made  
Pretending to believe  
That I am not afraid

And tell me did you know  
That I still won't let it go  
And just maybe you're still flying free  
And tell me did you know  
That I still won't let it go  
And just maybe you're still flying free

If only 

Exhausting crept over me. I closed my eyes ..if only ..if only..if only for a moment .I could find some peace...lightness changed to Grey which played across my eyes ..Greyness turned to Blackness.

~~~ _The sounds of rushing waters rushed past me . I was in some kind of wooded area birds called to me crowing their songs of happiness flying above me robins and blue jays ,cardinals . I spun around seeing lush green hills and trees with branches so long they seemed to connect to each other like a perfect complete puzzle of never ending beauty . Which way do I go? Where was I going? Where was I? Why? The water maybe? But where was it? Help! I yelped stumbling I crashed into a tree animals flew and ran away scared _

" _Sorry! " Anybody here?_

_Where am I ? Which way do I go?_

_I brushed dirt off my legs and arms looking around as my eyes scanned down I saw a baby bunny looking _

_up at me twitching it's nose as if to say follow me so I did but she was going so fast _

"_Wait!" [me]_

"_Please wait for me!" [me]_

_The scenery changed the lush green turned darker ..the tresses were dying the grass gone the birds changed to ravens, larks singing songs of sorrow, warnings but I kept running the bunny stopped at the river twitching her nose And ran into the water splashing me with a spray _

" _Wait!_

_I called but she was gone_

_Help!_

_I spun no way it couldn't be _

_Help me please!_

_Baby is that you? [me]_

_Please baby is it? [me]_

_Her voice was full of desperation and fear _

_Where are you? Honey answer me where are you? [me]_

_I'm running out of time! _

_Help me _

_Please I need you!_

_Suddenly there was a gunshot and everything came alive animals ran and flew away leaves flew up dirt blew_

_I screamed but I wasn't alone I saw her drop from above scarlet red fell in ocean waves .I tried to reach her but my body wouldn't move my eyes locked with hers as she fell pleading with me . I tired to reach her but my legs were in quick sand our hands brushed together _

"_Help me please!"_

_Hold on! [me]_

_Our voices blended together then her eyes shut and she was gone. _

_I felt a coldness of harsh river water splatter against my face like freezing cold arctic winds on a hot summer day. Laughter rose I looked above ...Selena stood on a log holding a smoking gun rose petals fell she smiled at me..._

_N....O..O..O [me]_

I shot up screaming sweat dripped breathing heavy

_No god no! [me]_

I threw the cover off both dogs looked at me scared .. slowing down my breathing trying to get it back to normal..

_I thought I find you here [ He stood at the door]_

_Ah! [me screaming]_

I swallowed as he opened his arms and I ran into them the tears flowed freely

_I can see it's still as hard for you as it is for us [him]_

_I'm okay..[me]_

_Don't Lie Darlin what kind of relationship do _

_We have if you can't be honest with me? [him]_

His hands were big and strong as they massaged my back

_Well now this certainly looks more like her room[him]_

I turned laughing glad he wasn't mad. He held me tight I smelled his Cologne he whipped away my tears

_Sorry …[me]_

_No don't be I like it I hate it when it's so clean it wasn't like that when she was here_

_I want it to look like she was still living here [him]_

_It helps..ya know? [him]_

_Do you mind if I stay with you tonight? [me]_

_Of course not darling [him]_

I laid in bed thinking that night there was something I was blocking out but what? Closing my eyes a memory suddenly flew past me. Candles lined the room and rose petals all over the floor incense burned ..bottles of Alcohol and flavored waters lined a table empty ..I was in bed with someone but who? My eyes strained to see past the thin muscular legs of this person I was holding. I could feel the touch of their skin soft like silk. Their breathing was labored slow and steady as they slept. We had made love...I was kissing their neck whispering something which had made them laugh. My mind grew fuzzy ...I heard a moan ...it was me...their voice was blurry but the words clear...

_Something Wrong Baby?_

_No..[me]_

_I'm happy I haven't been happy like this in a long time [me]_

_Thank you [me]_

I closed my eyes snuggling to their chest

_We have each other that's all that matters _

_All we can do is hold each other no one knows how long we have_

_No one else knows what were going through it has to be our secret_

" _Our Secret no one can know about this _

_Especially Miley.._

_Ah! [me]_

I shot up

_What's wrong? [him]_

_I remembered something! [me]_

_Something that can help her! _

_Who? [him]_

_Selena[me]_

_What is it? [him]_

My lips felt dry and my throat sore .

_I need to talk to her [me]_

He nodded seeming to understand . My heart was racing I felt cold yet I was sweating and crying . He came over and hugged me I knew he was begging me to remember the rest but he didn't want to push me either. I saw a picture of the four of us on his nightstand her eyes shone directly into mine as clear and as blue as any ocean tears clogged my throat as her father held me. I knew he wanted his angel in his arms and I swore right then and there as I stared into her eyes that I would get that for him ..for us..I would find the answers we all wanted for way too long...closing my eyes I heard her voice she was singing to me in her sweet clear perfect voice..the song felt right just what I was feeling.

_**"I Miss You"**_

Sha la la la la  
Sha la la la la

You used to call me your angel  
Said I was sent straight down from heaven  
You'd hold me close in your arms

I loved the way you felt so strong  
I never wanted you to leave  
I wanted you to stay here holding me

[CHORUS:]  
I miss you  
I miss your smile  
And I still shed a tear  
Every once in a while  
And even though it's different now  
You're still here somehow  
My heart won't let you go  
And I need you to know  
I miss you, sha la la la la  
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer  
And now I'm living out my dream  
Oh how I wish you could see  
Everything that's happening for me  
I'm thinking back on the past  
It's true that time is flying by too fast

[CHORUS]

I know you're in a better place, yeah  
But I wish that I could see your face, oh  
I know you're where you need to be  
Even though it's not here with me

[CHORUS x2] 


	3. Chapter 3 Black Roses

**Black Roses**

**Selena's p o v**

" _Dear Alexandra_

_Sweetheart you are too young too read this now but someday you will be old enough to read this and I am sure you will have plenty of questions about your mommy and the events that lead us to be separated. I'm sure you'll ask what happened to your aunt? Well okay so she wasn't really your aunt..but we were so close for so long that we really thought of each other as sisters. You have every right to wonder and ask these questions and I wish I could be there so I could explain it to you but time won't allow me that so this letter is my only hope that I can give to you. _

_Truthfully it's hard to know where to even start it's all so complicated by all the outrageous lies that the media spun and the headlines that clouded everyone's judgments. The tragedy in all of this is that after all the drama and all the hype. What everyone has seem to forgotten is that..this wasn't about numbers or some case file ..it's about a human life ..seemingly lost...Your Aunt well she was amazing she lived a glamorous lifestyle filled with riches and fame ..but underneath it all ..Well ...She was still the same sweet southern girl that hailed from Tennessee. Many people told her to give up on her dreams she was too little too inexperienced..but she was a fighter and she didn't let anyone tell her what to do. I never realized how strong she was till it was too late..but she was strong inside and out. She was compassionate sweet and charming she protected her loved ones with so much intensity it was scary at times. Trust well that didn't come easy at all but once she trusted you she loved you with everything inside of her 5'5 frame. _

_Growing up in Texas I had many plans for when I would be old enough to move out and in them. I pictured being a successful actress/ singer in La, I pictured Nick and I walking hand in hand down red carpets lights flashing and people calling my name. Fans screaming for me...my name in lights and the feelings of happiness knowing I had it all...I pictured my life after that at 20. I would take a much needed break to get married to Nick and we would have kids. Four, two girls, two boys...when the youngest was around 5 or 6. I would resume my perfect Hollywood life. Funny thing about watching Celebrities on TV is that your blinded by the smoke and the lights you never see beyond that it's a perfect illusion one they have perfected over the years one I fell for hard. _

_My visions never included me sitting here..I could never imagine myself in a place like this. Sitting on a cold hard metal bed surrounded by a 8X10 cell of bars. I haven't seen daylight in so long..far too long._

_Where is here exactly? _

_Death Row in San Quentin Prison in San Quentin Northern California . Don't let the TV fool ya and if your like your momma and listen to that god awful rap music _

[A/n love rap music so no offense to anyone]

_Don't believe the lyrics prison ain't a cool place to be. This ain't no joke it's dangerous I have to be on my guard 24 /7 watch my back every second. The guards aren't even safe here. I never use to get it but now I do._

_You'll hear a lot of talk Alex .Don't believe them cause it ain't true. Miley and I grew up real different. I was from a single parent household, momma had to work two jobs to support me so I was left alone a lot after school, I hung with the boys they taught me how to fight how to spit how to race we ran the streets and terrorized the neighborhood . When I was seven things changed momma wanted me to have a better life so she got me into acting I auditioned for Barney and I met a girl there Demi she was sweet and funny and we clicked instant Besties. _

_Miles grew up with her parents Billy Ray and Tish her dad was one of the hugest country stars and her mom a tough but sweet southern women who wouldn't let fame go to their heads who showed them.[she has 2 sisters Brandi 22 now and Noah 10 and three Brothers Christopher from her dad's side he's 18 now and lives with his mom in Kentucky. Trace 20 and Brasion 17 now] that just cause they had money didn't mean they could act up or be spoiled they had chores on the farm and they had little friends since they lived so far out so they played with each other. They toured with Billy a lot from the time she was little she had a gift. By the time she was 11 she was in La working on her own show._

_One thing we had in common? We were both fortunate enough to land prime roles on Disney Channel shows. We were thrown into a world of glamor and fame idol worship. With it however came the darker side being targets for paparazzi who spread lies faster then the truth. To be in Hollywood you have to learn to play by their games and their rules..maybe if I had played along better..I hated it ..miles she was better at it..always was..maybe the end would have been different..there are so many questions. I ask myself maybe she would still be with us...maybe I wouldn't be here..wondering how did my life come to this? Working to clear my name..I have limited time left to do so and I fear I am running on empty..I want to be free so I can give birth to you watch you grow give you the life you deserve ..Forster care ain't where you belong sweetheart._

_I wish I could say your daddy would step up but he's too into his career..truth is he's just too young and too scared but I don't want you to think he's a jerk he's not he left you very well taken care of financially, he set it up so no one can touch it expect you when you are 18 you will receive notice wherever you are that this is yours please use it carefully, I trust you will you'll be gorgeous and smart and ambitious._

_Alex this world can be so cold watch your back baby girl people will try to betray you break your heart. Never be afraid just be strong and hold your head up high don't let anyone make you feel ashamed. Follow your instincts I wish I had followed mine things would have been so different. _

_I've been on my own for a long time now I've learned to be strong to make it. _

_The day that started this was a normal day expect we had a delivery at the studio that day for miles not unusual we always get fan mail. This time however it was a bouquet of black roses.._

_If you look into the meaning of black roses it represents a promise that will soon know something you didn't know before a major change in a removal of physical or mental health.. some simply see it as a bad omen..Black Roses can Mean Farewell... _


	4. Chapter 4 Black Roses Part Two

**Black Roses Part Two**

**Selena's p o v**

A/n Thanks to everyone who's reading and to lalagirlz for the favorite alert awesome! Hope u enjoy this still don't own the characters Selena's last name has been changed to Lopez for Legal stuff. I do own that nice poem/song at the end here. Reviews are awesome and welcomed if you can be nice. Thanks.

"_Lopez! [Guard]_

The Guard hollered my name startling me as I stared at the letter I was writing

" _Lopez! [Guard]_

Another dehumanization of prison life first names are a thing of the past

_Visitor [guard]_

I must of stared at him like he was crazy cause he laughed

_Want to see her or should I send her home? [guard]_

_No I'll see her! [me]_

_Lets go then! [guard]_

He came in and searched me and had me turn around I felt the cold metal cuffs slip over my wrists and the rattle of the shackles as he cuffed my feet. The halls were quite as I was lead down most prisoners were eating now. I thought of what else I could say in my next letter. I was lead past the category j unit we call these prisoners J-Cats it's the mental ward of prison they were calling out cussing names of long ago forgotten family members or friends. We have a lot of these guys here on the row. It's easy to see how you would lose your mind while being trapped day after day . I've come close to losing it a few times knowing I will never see my loved ones again , I can't come and go as I please, I can't grab a starbucks or visit friends , can't go for a jog can't call the ones I love. People you once considered friends even family forget you out of sight out of mind.

I heard their screams as I was lead down and wondered how close was I to being one of them? There was only one reason I wasn't ..My heart ached as a reminder of what I couldn't do touch my belly...the hall buzzer sounded as we got to the detestation the steel doors unlocked and I was lead inside where two female guards stood ready to strip search me. Every in mate has to endure this process for three main reasons.

#1 Prevention of smuggling drugs and tools

#2 .weapons used in escape attempts or against each other or the guards

#3 Weapons in fights

Some in mates feel it's just another way for them to make us feel like low lives. Strip away our self confidence and break us down. I wonder if their right sometimes?

At the start of the search the cuffs are removed then they make us remove our clothing our hands must be raised above our heads we have to wiggle our fingers open our mouths and wave our tongues. We have to run our hands through our hair and ears. They search our mouths ,butt checks. Then they make us stand there naked as they slowly search every inch of clothing. Afterwards I was cuffed and lead to the visitation room curiosity was burning at me who could it be? My mom couldn't bear to see me like this it broke her heart and it killed me to see her heart break etching across her face so it was an unspoken agreement between us that she just didn't come. Demi hasn't come for a long time I know she's confused did I do it? Didn't I ? When I was lead inside I started looking around confused.

" _Over there table 502 [Guard]_

There were so many people around that I had to squint to even see to that table when I did see her I felt my breath intake when I saw her she was thinner for sure I could see that time had taken it's toll on her. Stress I suppose, grief her hair was lighter probably didn't take the time to dye it. She was nervous I saw her fooling with her hands as she sat looking around her eyes held a sadness to them but they were still the most brilliant shade of green I had ever seen I was always left breathless by them. Unable to speak I couldn't call to her as the guard lead me over all I could do was stare her eyes were casted down as I approached. Feeling myself choke up I tried to swallow and find the way to say what I needed but the questions formed in my mind why was she here? Why did after all this time did she care? The guard uncuffed me without speaking to her she must of felt me come up cause she looked up our eyes met and I forced myself not to crumble which was easier for me then it was her since she teared up as she stood up across from me. The guard told us the rules but she was in a daze as she stared so I swallowed against the fear and spoke first. My voice was raw with unshed emotions which hurt a bit as I said .

_Mandy? Is it really you? [me]_

She started breathing fast as she gripped the table and nodded still unable to speak. Without forcing the issue I went over and hugged her. She was stiff at first but after holding her for a few minutes and breathing in her amazing scent. I felt myself easing up which I assumed made her feel more relaxed I felt her become less stiff and hold me tighter.

_I miss you Selena [Mandy]_

We both became a little teary eyed breaking apart she touched my belly which felt strange. I hadn't had anyone do that since before I landed in this hell hole.

_Yea I'm having a little Girl [me]_

_Aw a little miracle [Mandy]_

_Did you pick out a name?[Mandy]_

_Yea Alexandra Demetria Lopez [me]_

_Aw that's sweet [Mandy]_

_I love the name it's so pretty [Mandy]_

We sat down as she wiped away her tears her hands were folded on the table in the middle

_How are you Mandy? [me]_

_Well It's hell Selena to be honest [Mandy]_

_I can feel her everywhere I still expect her to walk_

_Through the door I expect her to see her laying in bed_

_With Sophie and Mate..but she doesn't she's not and it hurts so dang bad [Mandy]_

_I sit in her room and just miss her so bad._

She started to cry I reached over and squeezed her hand I wanted to hold her but the guard was looking at us so I didn't want to piss him off by holding her. The tears were coming freely and fast down her face.

_Sorry that hasn't changed Selena_

I laughed Mandy was always the emotional one miles use to call her Emo M which pissed her off we shared a laugh.

_Her place is so quite now Noah doesn't run around like she use to_

_Brandi and Trace don't come around as often and Brasion...._

Her voice was softer now and trailed off

_I don't know what to do with myself I spend so much time just watching_

_Back our show and listening to her music [Mandy]_

_Mate doesn't get that Mommy isn't coming home _

_Oh god! [Mandy]_

She started to cry harder and I felt her squeeze my hand. The guard signaled five more minutes left. I couldn't believe it had passed already so fast.

_People say that time makes it easier but it doesn't [Mandy]_

_I can't accept the fact that she's gone_

_Or that Your locked up [Mandy]_

I felt myself boiling up on that one how did she think I felt? I didn't voice my feelings

_You didn't do it Selena [Mandy]_

_I know that what do You think I've been trying to tell people _

_For Months!(me]_

I should of felt so many emotions but all I felt was numbness a empty hollow shallow feeling the guard was now standing over us, I swallowed as we rose. What did this mean? That was the only question I could form in my mind.

_I'm trying to clear your name Selena I'm trying desperately_

_To find Out what happened..[Mandy]_

_Be strong Selena_

_I will find out what happened? [Mandy]_

The cuffs were placed back on I saw that pain in her eyes as clear as it was captured in a snapshot and thrown to me frozen in time were her eyes in my mind. On the way to my cell they walked me through the courtyard outside. The sun was shining bright which only made me more depressed . A few in mates were playing ball.

_Witch...I told you what would happen if you..[Lucy]_

_And I told you not to mess with my s...[Luann]_

Lucy Cruz attacked Luann Gomez .Lucy dated a member of the Bloods gang before she landed here she was initiated into the bloods when she was 14 she's 26 now and Luann is her sworn enemy even though they never met before coming here since Luann is a member of the Crips gang and is married to a Crips leader it's automatic enemies. Luann was slapped suddenly, Lucy screamed and swore vengeance. Within seconds they were on each other fists pounding into their faces and hair pulling biting inmates scattered to get out of the way. Guards ran to break it up a warning shot was fired into the air I ducked the guard pushed me down and stayed with me. My instincts were to cover my belly. Expect I couldn't figure out how to do that with my hands cuffed. Lucy picked up a big rock and aimed it at Luann's head . I closed my eyes hearing another shot ..I've seen it before guards killing prisoners if necessary ..sometimes inmates who aren't involved get hit my friend Gia did she was only 18 she was killed protecting me 3 months ago. It never gets easier even girls I hate ..it still effects me .

Finally I got inside the prison but the smell got to me a lot of inmates give up on self hygiene they urinate on themselves refuse to brush their teeth or shower. They figure your on death row why bother? The smell gags me very time and today was worse, all my emotions came forward. I couldn't fight it anymore so I leaned over gaging the guard shoved my head .

Inside my cell the sounds and the smells all closed in on me . The depression and the isolation and the fear weighed heavily on me. I was nausea again badly. Rage built up in me I kicked the bed which rattled tears threatened to overflow but I fought them off. Exhaustion took over me .I curled up on my bed my knees to my chest which was a lot harder now then it use to be.

" _Lopez" [ Mable]_

I looked up to see my neighbor calling to me Mable Johnson.

_Whatever it is that has gotten you down child _

_Just remember God does not give us more then we can handle [Mable]_

_What he takes away from us he gives back in other ways_

_What you feel unjustified is really just the rain of god's love_

_I know the loss of your young friend a promising life cut to short_

_seems so cruel..[Mable]_

It seemed that way cause it was! Sighing I leaned my head back she was always rambling still her rambling at least distracted me.

_But god he knows what he is doing_

_He knows more then we could ever_

_He hears all sees all he is all god is love [Mable]_

_He took away your friend but gave you life.._

Her eyes fell on my growing stomach which I rubbed feeling my daughter growing inside.

_Thanks Mable [me]_

She nodded and went further into her cell as I picked up my letter again.

_Many things run through my head Why some people die ? Why others get to live ? Why will some walk free_

_Why some_ _will never walk again?_

_As humans were curious by nature we need to know the answers_

_One thing I learned is how strong I am_

_Prison is well ..it humbles you_

_My Next door mate Mable Johnson is 35 and a sweetheart_

_She's devoted to god and reads her bible every hour You would never picture her_

_as someone who would be severing 3 consecutive life sentences_

_On death row ..she killed her two kids by drowning them and then shot her husband_

_Her crime makes me ill...I could never think about hurting a child. I sit here rubbing my belly where you are_

_growing now and all I feel is a intense love and a fierce urge to protect. As I've gotten to know her though I see She was scared and confused and she needed medical help for her depression and her illness that she was _

_Denied because of her inability to pay. Overworked and overwhelmed and sick she just snapped_

_And I feel for her two precious children who are now back home with god. _

_No Prison sentence can match what she feels everyday I can see it in her eyes. _

_That pain of knowing the person you love most is gone forever._

_Most of us aren't granted 2and chances in life but if I make it out of here I'll make it all count for something._

_I'll make sure Miley's suffering wasn't in vain. If I had known how little time I would have had with her maybe I would of held her closer. Now I am left to wonder did she see who did this to her? The experience has taught me _

_Not to judge people to value what we have in life as little as it may be cause nothing in life is promised forever_

_Life can change fast . They say you don't know what you have till it's gone._

_Well their right cause baby I had it all and now it's gone._

_Miley was a amazing song writer who took pride in it she was a master_

_On guitar and piano it was her way of expression pain and joy.._

_I'm no where near her league but I'm not half bad..it's become my therapy.._

_**Black Roses**_

_Looking into your eyes /Others saw only the best /_

_Why didn't I ?/ I've must have been too busy looking past/_

_Time flew by/ If I could I'd make it last/ Change it / Rearrange it/ _

_Take a second to look deeper into your eyes/ 13 your first kiss_

_You and he stood hidden / No clue I hide to/ Watching you hating you/ Envying you/_

_Damn I wanted to be you/ I hide behind the shades wishing you would guide me/_

_Too shy to ask you/ New kid looking up to you/ I never took the time to look beyond the image/_

_To see your World of pain loneliness and self -confidence issues/ pain hidden away deep inside/ If only I had known and taken the time/ to see God only sent the best to me/ a test/ with broken wings/she fought /speechless/_

_Fearful/ she grew numb / she grew cold/ learned to block out the names and the pain/_

_tears dried / only to be shed in vain on some lonely day/ She was my bff once upon a time/No one knew her like _

_I did/ expect one other who's devastated/others saw us as foes/ what do they know?_

_17 and so bright my heart still breaks/_

_The sights the images burn in my brain_

_No one will ever know once so full of life_

_Pain now__ scorches__ my soul/ once so pure / now no 'mor_

_The words are screams that echo to me in my sleep/_

_4 is it better to believe in hopes of vain then dream in reality that never rests?_

_A blast from the past/ a vision that will never last/ is it better to dream of dreams no mor'/_

_My head spins the tears fall at night/ oh lonely nights surround these four walls/_

_I can never escape/ chains and guards keep me locked in fright/_

_Memories of childhood freedom / flash by me / mommy and I / she smiles sweetly_

_Whispers of words I need to hear/ I love you/ I believe in you/ chase your dreams/_

_You can fly so free/ the world is yours/ I'm always on your side/ trust in me/ believe in me/_

_Were not saints I'm not a queen/ fairy tales don't exist but dreams can come true/_

_Life may beat you and tease you but don't give up baby just believe / when waves crash down and you feel_

_Like your flying solo just remember and believe / oh what her words mean to me_

_No One can see me like she can/ all I want is to make her proud/_

_All I can see is the shame in her eyes / it's in her eyes/ etched in her face/_

_Shattered dreams her baby's fallen from grace/ stuck inside a cage of memories of brighter yesterdays/_

_One life to live/ full of dreams/ scarifies made in vain/ who knew she would die on this day?_

_It's not fair / she should be here/ living out her dreams/ not laying in some cold hard/ _

_Mandy's heart was ripped out / replaced my memories/ I cry out/ I fall down/ _

_I use to hate / hate gave way to pain/ someone took her life_

_No one cared bout the ones left behind/ to carry on and endure this great pain/_

_Pictures swarm my mind/ from birth she was destined to be a star/_

_A baby girl who smiled so sweet she was dubbed Smiley _

_She grew into a toddler of curiosity/ full of passion and determination to live out her dreams_

_/eyes so bright/ brightness dies from her eyes / life snuffed out / too soon / too young/_

_This lovely young women is now a glorious angel/ taken too soon/ it just ain't right/ I hear a whisper _

_Telling me/ hold 'em/ love 'em / let them fly/ away/ Why?/ Where do we go when we die?_

_The pain we just want to heal/ answers remain a haunted mystery/ long after/ ashes to ashes dust to dust/_

_There you lay/ An angel to my eyes/ my tears fall / _

_At your bedside I sniffle frozen tears line my face_

_My fingertips slip as I drop_

_Black Roses_

_Darkness encloses / I scream/ I can't breath deafness surrounds my darkened world/_

_A heartbeat / a glorious kick/ your laughters haunted me for far too long/ wake up!_

_Shaken up/ looking around/_

_I hear you whisper/ close your eyes/ take my hand/ whisper my name_

_I am here in the air you breath/ the water you drink_

_Tear drops you cry/ I hear you please don't cry for me/_

_I am free/ I was a rose bud planted one earth_

_Who will now blossom in fields of heaven/_

_Sprinkled with enough love till it was my time _

_To spread my wings and take my flight/ cry no mor_

_Rest assure / god's greatest plans are often life's greatest mystery/_

_I did not leave you/ not alone_

_Touch your belly/ feel me feeling you/_

_Mommy I am here_

_I grow inside of you_

_I am that miracle _

_You pray for_

_Soon to be a bouncing bundle of joy_

_Sweet child of mine_

_Yet to enter this world_

_I feel you_

_Heart beats so excitedly_

_Kick me/ tell me in all my struggles/_

_As I will be forced to love you from a far_

_The pleasure to watch you grow _

_The chance of being reunited _

_Love never dies_

_Crimson hollowed out of your veins_

_An angel they took away on that sad day_

_But her soul was not lost _

_9 months later she will be reborn_

_She's telling me_

_My little Rose Bud_

_Made from Black /Roses'_

_Into holy light that descends from above_

_A blessing I am sure_

_I hope to never be taken away_

_In a world of cruel twists and turns_

_I shed tears of joy _

_For rebirth is interment / permanent_

_This time I hope hello_

_Is not echoed with _

_Good-Bye" _


	5. Chapter 5 Among The Missing

**Among The Missing**

**Mandy's p o v**

A/N Thanks To BodyLanguage851 Still not owning much expect the song at the end Among The missing..

Dear Alex

_Hey Sweetheart So Yea I know I've only come to know you in the last few hours but I can't shake this feeling_

_That I've been having ever since we met your too young to remember heck you don't even know we met._

_Your still in your mom's womb. _

_I can't say that I was your mom's best friend in truth we barely knew each other until shortly before the end._

_She was Miley's friend on and off and through being Miley's bestie. I got to know her._

_Everyone had no problem blaming Your momma when this whole thing happened I was among the first_

_And I am ashamed now because in all honestly I have no idea what really happened all I know is that I miss my Best friend so much.. I think the pain blinded me for so long that I didn't try to look past it, but now I see I can't Cause looking past doesn't make it hurt less it doesn't make it less real. I started to remember it's only a little bits And pieces but it's coming it's so frustrating I want to remember I want to bring justice to Miles and if it Means Your momma gets free that's even better. _

_I can't even imagine the questions you probably have this may not be enough for you. I know if it were me the_

_Questions would be pouring through me. I know because they are burning through me right now I can't even tell You how many sleepless nights I have laid awake just thinking trying so hard to remember what I forgot. _

_There are so many questions and the hard part that I will never accept is that some of them may never be Answered._

_I hope that if you take away anything is that your momma loves you and is fighting for you and for the Opportunity to see you grow up. _

_If all doesn't go well which if your reading this it means what I feared will happen has happened and that I Couldn't remember in time to save your mommy and please know that I am so sorry even if sorry means nothing With the loss you have to live with. I wish I could tell you why _

_Why your mom? I wish someone could tell me Why miley?_

_But there just examples of questions that may never be answered._

_It's more then just miley..I mean a child dying it's ..well it's unjust it's unnatural ..imagine being 17 years old and gone..When older people leave us they leave us with memories accomplishments achievements..they leave behind a legacy ..Young people go with opportunities visions of amazing dreams..they leave us with.._

_Shattered Dreams...._

_It's Every Parents Worst nightmare. The day starts out normal you wake your sleeping child up she which they protest to of course. When they finally get up you start to question them what their day is going to be like what their plans are. They take it as nagging You remind them of chores and homework, appointments errands you need run. They roll their eyes and grunt as they race off for the rest of the day, you sigh and go on with the rest Of yours sure to meet up with another argument when you get home._

_5:30 rolls around and you come home to find a empty house exhausted now you see nothing is done out of the few things you ask of them. You get pissed once again they ignored you or forgot. You start to make calls as you prepare your lecture and their punishment. This time however is different no one has seen your child , soon anew feeling overcomes you..dread..cold numb vomit inducing fear with shaky fingers you dial 911 as your head spins. Police officers fill your house flashing lights fill the night air a search is launched..they fire you with question After questions..anger rises once again..people come and go hours turn into days..days into weeks..._

Thinking about miles and Selena is what drove me here in the first place. I finger the letter I'm writing to Alex , taking a deep breath I got out of my bmw and head up the steps to the mansion .I still couldn't wrap my head around this one. How fast time had changed this. I could hear the kids on the other side playing and laughing chasing each other as I rang the doorbell within seconds the butler Julian opened the door.

_Good Afternoon Miss. Jiroud [Julian]_

_Please I told you call me Mandy [me]_

_I am sorry Miss. Mandy [Julian]_

_Come on In Miss Lovable just got in from Asia _

_But I'm sure she will be glad to see you [Julian]_

_Thank You [me]_

He lead me past the rec room where kids were playing freely or doing homework watching Tv .

_Mandy! Oh my gosh! Yay! [Andy]_

Ten year old Andy Keller came rushing over I barely got my arms open wide enough before he rushed into them. scooping him up. I lifted him and spun him he laughed as I put him down and tickled him.

_How are you? [me]_

_I'm good did Julian tell ya? [Andy]_

He placed his arms on my shoulders as I squatted down in front of him he was grinning from ear to ear.

_No he didn't what was he suppose to tell me? [me]_

_That I got an A+ on my history project! [Andy]_

_You mean the one you did on Dance? [me]_

He pushed his wire framed glasses up onto his nose nodding eagerly.

_Yes I used you as a example to!_

_I hope you don't mind! [Andy]_

I was shocked he used me why would anyone use me? Swallowing I just smiled and hugged him he amazed me sometimes. Just then I heard her voice as her footsteps approached.

_Mandy! _

I turned and gasped it had been so long since I saw her she had grown up so much wow did 18 year olds still grow? I thought they stopped after like 16 or so..she looked Radiant ..it hit me hard as I swallowed a lump in my throat. Miles would never grow up . I had to force myself to go over to her my legs suddenly felt weak my heart was beating erratically. As soon as my arms connected to her body. I couldn't let go she felt amazing and she even smelled amazing, She held me super tight. When I came out of the embrace I checked her out Demi Lovable had grown up so much in just a few months she had gained about 5 inches not including the 3 inch heals she had on. She had lost weight as we all had but her skin had a rosy glow. She had on a red business suit her eyes shone bright as she took me in I ran my hand over her face, behind the makeup and the smiles .I saw the truth the dark circles under her eyes which were covered mostly from makeup. The sadness that hide behind her bright smile. The way she held me as if she was afraid of losing me. Her hair fell in lose waves it was a shade of platinum blond which took some time getting use to but she also had red stripes in it her hair fell straight down with no waves or crinkles. Clearing my throat I looked at her in the eyes as I tried to talk.

_I hope I didn't disturb you [me]_

_Not at all I am so happy to see you [Demi]_

_Mandy it's been too long [Demi]_

_I always have time for a old friend_

_How are you sweetie? [Demi]_

Her voice changed gone was the lightheartedness now it was full of concern.

_Hanging in there you know [me]_

_Yea I do let's talk in private [Demi]_

She lead me out of the room and down the hall to the elevator [yes her mansion has a elevator in it!] we rode up in silence to the 6th floor. Getting off at her home made recording studio which was in session. I didn't look into the booth we stopped at the lobby part it was huge with colorful couches and pillows guitars lined the walls most of them singed. Sinking into the couch I closed my eyes my head was pounding as I leaned back.

_Water? [demi]_

_Thanks [me]_

_Looks like your in the middle of [me]_

_Working on a song [me]_

I fingered the sheet music that was laying on the table her eyes took on a far away look as she looked at the music.

_Yea it's a song for Selena and Miles [Demi]_

_I was working on it before you know [Demi]_

_I feel like I owe them something [Demi]_

_But it's so hard that I put it away for awhile [Demi]_

_Now I don't know it's been bugging me ya know [Demi]_

_I never leave anything unfinished [Demi]_

I saw her vulnerability hidden away coming out as she swallowed. I touched her shoulder trying to let her know I understood.

_How was Asia? [me]_

_Oh it was good [Demi]_

_What were you over there for?[me]_

_Sorry I should know this but..[me]_

_It's okay babe stuffs been so crazy [Demi]_

We laughed softly

_I went over there to promote my new _

_Cd and Camp Rock 3 [Demi]_

_I heard that you were producing it as well [me]_

_Yes my first time [Demi]_

_I'm sure it will be fabulous [me]_

_So what's up Mandy? [Demi]_

_I just came from seeing Selena [me]_

_She's getting bigger each time..[me]_

_Yea I heard from David he saw her last week [Demi]_

_Last time I saw her she wasn't showing at all [Demi]_

_Now all of a sudden she's..BAM! [Demi]_

[Demi made a explosion nose as she expanded her hands_]_

_How long as it been since you saw her? [me]_

_Too long [_she looked down] _[Demi]_

_So have you got any more leads? [Demi]_

_That's why I'm here I started to remember bits and pieces ]me]_

_But I'm having trouble knowing what it all means [me]_

_What have you remembered so far? [Demi]_

I told her she listened carefully running her hands over mine tears filled up our eyes /

_You'll remember Mandy I believe in you [Demi]_

_Thanks Dem..[me]_

Tears were falling down my face as the door opened.

_Hey Demi..._

I looked up and gasped 22 year old Joe Jones stood there looking well amazing in a tan suit with a white tank underneath . His black hair was buzzed short and gelled back. Running his hands through his hair Demi got up going over to him.

_What's up Babe? [Demi]_

_Hey were breaking for lunch what would you like Sweetie?[Joe]_

Demi leaned in and kissed him passionately on the lips he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest.

_Why are you crying? [Joe]_

_What did you say to her Mandy? [Joe]_

_Why the hell did you come over here if your going to start shit [Joe]_

I was speechless after all the time that had passed I would of thought he could at least talk civil to me my heart squeezed so hard I felt like I couldn't breath. Tears threatened to overflow again .

_Joe stop she didn't do this! [Demi]_

_We were just talking and sorry it's just my hormones_

_Everything makes me sad and weepy[Demi]_

_The doctor said this was to be expected [Joe]_

_Sweetie..[Joe]_

Joe ran his hand over her stomach and kissed her face I stared at them watching him cuddle her and kiss her talking to her and I couldn't help myself from thinking about when he use to do that to me, which made me start to cry all over again ..

_I think it's time that you leave Mandy! [Joe]_

_Joe What the hell has gotten into you! [Nick]_

I felt dizzy and started to feel nauseated why the hell was he being so mean to me. I was done I didn't need this anymore apologizing to Demi I grabbed my stuff and started to leave.

_Demi doesn't need your drama [Joe]_

_Just leave her alone [Joe]_

_Joe Stop being a jerk your making her cry [Nick]_

Before I knew it Nick had come over and put his arms around me without warning I started to cry hard. Nick rubbed my back leading me over to the couch .I heard Demi talking to Joe softly but I didn't look up from Nick's shoulder .I could smell the cologne .Nick ran his hands through my hair, I felt his lips kiss my head as my sobs subsided. Nick had a way of calming me down his voice was soft and sweet without being condescending.

_Talk to me hon what happened? [Nick]_

_This is the first time we have seen you in months [Nick]_

_And your crying like a baby missing it's momma [Nick]_

_I do miss her …[me]_

_Miles was everything to me and I just ..I can't [me]_

_Shh hon it's okay no one knows better then I do [Nick]_

_How hard it is to get her off the mind [Nick]_

Nick stroked my face and it gave me the confidence to talk to him. When I stopped he looked me right in the eye and kissed my hands which he was holding.

_This isn't impossible Mandy we will find out what [Nick]_

_Really happened and we will clear Selena's name [Nick]_

_No one wants to see her free like I do [Nick]_

_You'll help me? [me]_

_No he won't Nick stop day dreaming [Joe]_

_We have work that needs to be done [Joe]_

_We have a tour that needs Rehearsals we..[Joe]_

_Have a obligation to find out what happened [Nick]_

_To Miles and help our friend clear her name [Nick]_

_Why? [Joe]_

_Because Selena and Miles are our friends..[Nick]_

_Why are you being such a idiot Joe you loved miles like_

_A sister and Selena was one of your best friends [Nick]_

_Times Changed Miles is dead Selena's in jail..[Joe]_

_Yea and she's pregnant [Kevin]_

_We should help her out Anything you need Mandy let us know [Kevin]_

He came over and hugged me.

_Some of us actuality care about Miles and Selena.. [Kevin]_

_Joe's Just got his boxers in a knot cause [Kevin]_

_He got his girl knocked up [Kevin]_

_Hey Don't disrespectful my wife! [Joe]_

_Will all of us shut up! [Demi]_

_The whole point is we need help and Selena doesn't have time [Demi]_

_For us to stand here and argue [Demi]_

_You can count on us Mandy will help you..[Demi]_

_Well I'm out I just spent 6 months living this hell [Joe]_

_I want nothing to do with it..[Joe]_

He stomped off we looked at him why was he so angry with me?

_I should just go I'm sorry [me]_

My knees felt weak I felt a tension headache over power me.

_Mandy!!! [Kevin and Nick]_

Kevin's arms wrapped around me and pulled me over to the couch .I felt my stomach rising as Nick rubbed his hands over my back. Kevin placed a wash cloth over my face and helped me lay down. Nick sat down by me and rubbed my knees .

_Close your eyes and relax [Nick]_

_I'm going to go check on Demi and Joe [Kevin]_

_Okay I'll stay here with Mandy [Nick]_

_You Don't have to Nick I'll..[me]_

_Don't Start Mandy Mom raised us well to respect girls_

_And I won't leave you..[Nick]_

_Thanks Sorry [me]_

I sighed and laid back he ran the wet cloth over my face. Kevin kissed my check and left to go check on his brother and sister in law.

For a few minutes we sat there not saying anything. Running the cloth over my face helped me though I felt my face cooling off as his hands enclosed around mine. He seemed nervous as he pored me some water and helped me to sit up. I was still shaking so he held the cool drink to my lips tipping it for me his warm brown eyes barreled right through to mine. In that moment I felt all his frustrations and his anger that was eating him up. I swallowed , the cool icy liquid slide down my throat relieving me of that aching dryness.

_You Okay Mandy? [Nick]_

_Yea I just want to sit up laying on my neck is hurting bad [me]_

_Here let me help [Nick]_

His hands felt cool against my warm neck which made me shiver he took off his jacket and wrapped it around me ever the gentleman .Taking my hand he helped me up but dizziness over came me his voice became full of concern as he grabbed me and told me to sit down. I felt his hand gently push my head on his shoulder .

_Take a deep breath relax deep breath [Nick]_

_Your breathing too fast sweetie [Nick]_

_Relax like this darling [Nick]_

My chest felt like it was on fire I couldn't seem to grasp the simple concept of breathing, before I knew it his arms were around me holding me I didn't even realize that the tears had started to flow again but somehow they had. His breath was warm against my ear as he held me and offered consoling words.

_Don't fight it let it out [Nick]_

_You can't hold it inside or it'll eat you up [Nick]_

_Relax and get it out [Nick]_

The sobs filled up the whole room big wet messy gut wrenching sobs it was like my tears had taken over my whole body without warning, without any notice of when I would regain control . His voice was soothing as he told me how he had done the same thing many nights laying awake dreaming off her remembering. When my body seemed finally regain it's posture .I fell against his left shoulder exhausted no words he just took my hand and lead me to the balcony grabbing a blanket we settled onto a swinging bench and he covered us as we watched the stars. His arms wrapped around me I closed my eyes hearing his voice start to talk to me.

_I'm glad you came by [Nick]_

_You like it when girls cry all over your pressed shirts?_ [me]

_That's what irons or for and moms [Nick]_

I laughed softly.

_You have every reason to cry Manderz.._

My throat clogged a bit hearing him use her name for me he handed me a tissue which made me smile.

_No one can get it like I can unless you loved her as much [Nick]_

_As we did [Nick]_

_I didn't think you cared [Me]_

_I'm not Joe Mandy I didn't just shut off my emotions[Nick]_

_I'm confused okay I loved her I mean I really loved her[Nick]_

_But she was with Liam she was happy at least that's what she [Nick]_

_Let us believe [Nick]_

_She was happy she didn't do this [me]_

_Yea I get that and for a long time..[Nick]_

_I believed it was Selena [Nick]_

_What about now? [me]_

_Now...[Nick]_

He gazed out at the stars fist clenched.

_I'm not sure what I believe I want to believe that_

_My Sela could never do something as cruel and as hideous as [Nick]_

_What that sick son of..[Nick]_

_Did to Sweet smiley..[Nick]_

_But she was so angry at both of us [Nick]_

_And she took it out on miles all the time [Nick]_

_You know that was well as I do [Nick]_

_But was she cable of doing this? [me]_

_She was jealous she was hurt but I don't think she could do this [me]_

_All I know is that she is telling the truth about one thing for sure [Nick]_

_What's that? [me]_

I yawned growing tired as the swing gently rocked us.

_I may be the father of that baby [Nick]_

_What are you serious? [me]_

_Yea we had sex all the time so it's [Nick]_

_Possible [Nick]_

_Why didn't you speak up before? [me]_

_I was sure she was lying I mean it had been awhile [Nick]_

_And my manger convinced me she would get off [Nick]_

_And that If I spoke up my career would fall in the toilet [Nick]_

_She was on trail for her life! [me]_

_Yea I know I feel like crap okay [Nick]_

_You don't have to lecture me not a day goes by [Nick]_

_That I don't kick myself for not manning up [Nick]_

_But it's changing [Nick]_

_Why now? [me]_

_Cause of this place...[Nick]_

We both looked around down below in the back yard I saw kids of all ages ,races ,religions , sizes swimming in the pool playing cards having a free style jam, laying in the grass. Talking to friends playing ball.

_When Demi suggested opening a home for kids who [Nick]_

_Had been kidnapped and needed a place to go till their parents were located [Nick]_

_Or Who were being released from Juvenile Detention [Nick]_

_Well it started something in me [Nick]_

_I kept asking myself how can I be mad at these parents [Nick]_

_For throwing away their kids because of [Nick]_

_Something they did when they were young [Nick]_

_Well it got me thinking I'm judging Selena and [Nick]_

_Giving up on her without ever hearing her side [Nick]_

_I'm giving up on a child that may be my son or daughter [Nick]_

_Because of something his or her momma may or may not have done [Nick]_

_So I'm being hypercritical in retrospect [Nick]_

_I'm 18 now I should be a man and take resolvability [Nick]_

_What are you going to do? [me]_

_Tomorrow I'm going to the jail and I'm going to try to talk [Nick]_

_To her and ask her.. [Nick]_

He took a deep breath pulling me close .I was so tired and so drained I felt my eyes close slightly but I forced them open to look at him...he was shaking so I placed my hand on his..

_What are you planning to do? [me]_

_Ask her for a paternity test so I can know once and for all [Nick]_

_How is she? [Nick]_

_Hurt, angry, confused ,sad, scared for her life..[me]_

I yawned he rubbed my arms and took my hand we went back inside. Demi was in the studio working on her song Nick lead me in..her voice filled the room.

_**Among The Missing**_

_I walked into your room today_

_Expecting to see you there_

_Reality hit me as the wind blows_

_I turn around I thought I saw you_

_Just now but it was just a memory of you_

_Now I ask myself every time I hear your voice_

_Is it real? Do the voices play tricks on me?_

_Is it me missing you?_

_Do You whisper to me?_

_Cause I swear I could of heard you whisper to me..._

Nick played his guitar and joined in their voices blended together..

_**Chorus**_

" _Close your Eyes_

_Whisper Goodbye_

_Say a prayer_

_For Me Cause I'm Here_

_Among The Missing_

_Waiting To Be Found_

_Open Your Eyes_

_I'm Still here _

_I'm In Your Heart _

_But I Want To Be_

_In your Arms_

_Say A Prayer for Me_

_Because I May Be_

_Among the missing_

_But I'm still here I'll never leave you_

_I love you_

_**Verse 2 [Nick]**_

_Don't worry about me _

_I'm safe and I'm happy_

_Watching out for you_

_Those are the words I long to hear you whisper to me_

_Are you out there?_

_Where Are You?_

_I ask anybody please if you know_

_Pick up the phone my baby I'm missing her_

_I just need to know_

_Have you seen her?_

_5'5 110 wavy chestnut hair_

_Her picture was pasted all over the world_

_Sweetest smile deepest laugh_

_Biggest heart_

_There's no one like her_

_I hear her whisper to me_

_She sees me playing with Mate_

_And she watches me getting coffee at star bucks_

_I take her breath away times have been kind_

_But she has no clue _

_Oh no clue just how much I miss my baby_

_I would give anything to run into her arms_

_Hold her wipe away those tears_

_But I'm frozen in my spot _

_Wishing she was here with me_

_But she's not cause she's _

_Among The Missing_

_From my Arms, From my sight_

_**Chorus [Both]**_

_**Verse 3 [Demi]**_

_I remember you were the one_

_I could talk to late at night when the world was asleep_

_You calmed my fears and eased my tears_

_Together we dreamed we would conquer the world_

_Laugh at our mistakes Grow old together_

_Now I wish I could do the same for you_

_All I can do though is watch over and over_

_And hope you feel my words_

_I broke your heart in the past_

_But I want to start a new how can I help you?_

_When it feels like your heart_

_Has broken apart and shattered your dreams_

_Into a million pieces ._

_**Chorus Both**_

_**Nick Verse 4**_

_Just when I thought you'd make it_

_Someone mentions my name _

_A memory flashes before your eyes_

_The tears fall down the ground shifts_

_You feel Your falling down_

_Watching the rain_

_You remember those days_

_Our imaginations took us away _

_Don't worry baby I want you to know_

_I'm alive_

_I breathe because of your love_

_My worlds complete _

_So please don't cry over me _

_Your love's giving me wings_

_Just turn around and Believe_

_I'm Alive_

_In every breath you take_

_Every Drop of Rain_

_Close You eyes And Whisper my name_

_Yeah don't let anyone tell you differently_

_You know I was always Miss Independence_

_Had to go my own way _

_They took away my choice_

_You need to be my voice_

_Say my name don't forget me_

_I'm among the missing_

_I'm not dead_

_Say a Prayer_

_Open Your Eyes and look for me.."_

They played the last cord and we sat there in silence tears were streaming down my face as I thought about her suffering screaming for help how she must of felt so scared and alone...

_I got it guys how we can help Clear Selena and find out _

_What really happened to miles [me]_

_What is it? [Both]_

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	6. Chapter 6 Answers

**Answers**

**Mandy's P.o.v**

_Wow That was..[me]_

_Damn only in process? [me]_

_Yea It's Not finished yet were still working on it [Nick]_

_I'll prob rearrange some of the melodies and the hook [Demi]_

_I think it's amazing the way it is [me]_

_Thanks [Demi]  
Is it hard? [me]_

I swallowed she shrugged.

_You know it's my job to produce and to write_

_It's my therapy after awhile you just kind of get use to it [Demi]_

_The pain becomes fuel [Nick]_

I nodded but I didn't understand how anyone can get use to this kind of pain it was like someone had taken a blow torch down to my heart and blew it up.

_How's Tish and Billy Ray [Demi]_

_I keep meaning to get up there but life's been so crazy [Demi]_

_Don't worry about it They understand their holding on[me]_

_As best as they can but you know nothing can compare to the pain of losing a child [me]_

_Tish is busy with the kids and Billy well he's using music as his grip [me]_

She nodded and looked at her guitar. I felt nausea.

_Tell them I'm thinking about them _

_Please and I will get up there[Demi]_

_Sure I will so how's the album coming? [me]_

_Oh it's good getting ready to go on tour_

_Training hard for that but it's a little rougher when your expecting [Demi]_

_Yea I can bet [me]_

_Mandy you wanna say hi to some of the new kids? [Nick]_

_Sure [me]_

Demi packed up and we flipped off the lights and headed downstairs the halls looked elegant and I saw the maids had every room neat and immaculate. The main floor quite had evaporated kids were chasing each other and screaming playing video games like DDR or basketball a yoga class was under way and a dance class, some kids were doing homework. Counselors called out for quite which seemed to be ignored music was blasting kids who weren't running around were in clusters some dancing some singing or rapping,

_Wow I always forget how impressive this place is [me]_

_Uh thanks [Demi]_

She beamed as we headed past the game room where most of this action was taking place we rounded a few corners it was a lot quieter and we went all the way down. I stayed close to her since I wasn't use to this place and I could easily see myself getting lost. People were racing around and calling on cells and trying to make last minute deals her office was empty and just what we needed. Relaxing into a reclining chair and sipping the water she handed me I tried to hold the tears in.

_Demi teen people called they want dates on_

_Your interview for them with Joe [Sandy]_

_Where's Sami? [Demi]_

_She's handling a press conference [Sandy]_

_Okay excuse me Mandy [Demi]_

_Sure Babe [me]_

When she was gone I saw the pictures on the wall so many of all of us with each other with celebrities at charity events on sets. Some with fans some with other friends or families some from photo shoots. It brought back so many memories which clogged me up all over again.

Demi became swamped with calls so I excused myself went for a long drive and went to the beach the wind cooled me down as I pulled my sweater tighter . I sat there on the rocks watching the waves as they rushed over my feet and I started to remember and question how things had changed so much and what I could of done to prevent them from changing. Maybe if I had done things different I would have had a different ending so many questions and no answers..I just wanted Answers closing my eyes I willed myself to remember...


End file.
